English Class

I sit there as the rest of my class rolls their eyes over Shakespeare and politics. I tell myself that there is still more time till the end of the lesson, and suddenly it is upon us. This depresses more than anything. I have to go home, where I can only hope to achieve the hilarity of my English class.

I love my English class. I don't care what people think about English, and how it is boring, my English class is perfect. Here we have a class full of interesting people, with contrasting personalities, led by a weird left-wing nutjob, who resembles that dude off of Mythbusters, who calls me a weird right-wing nutjob. The class is fairly intellectual, all possessing weird obsessions, and always leading off-task to many different topics, which is often led by our teacher himself.
I sit with my cohorts, the intriguingly intellectual Indie and more bro than life Elisha, often compounded by the misanthropic friend, Patrick. We are forgetting Kent. That's his actual name.

Our friendships run deep, yet we are willing to sacrifice over small differences, such as Indie's dislike of chocolate pudding earning herself a reprimand from Elisha and me.

We spend our lessons generally criticizing everything and anything, and in between that, we do our schoolwork. On the most occasion we spend our classes in the computer room, Indie, Elisha and I clearly use our time efficiently, looking up emo blogs, and laughing in hilarity over the pettiness of those who are apparently our age. Currently, dear Patrick is modernizing scenes from Hamlet, portraying young Hamlet as an emo. But to be fair, Hamlet is emo.
We're a very cynical bunch, in English class. Very laidback as well. And clearly extraordinarily dirty.
Actually, where did our teacher go? I'm actually writing this up in class if you guys wanted to know.
Oh right, back to what we do in class.
Indie and Elisha have this habit of referencing Classical Studies during every analysis of our current topic Hamlet. Patrick enjoys pointing out grammatical errors, and laughing at Shakespeare in general. I along with Elisha, always search for dirty puns, whereas Clare is a dirty pun. The trust group, comprised of Kat, Vicky and Thu, spend most of the laughing in hilarity at the cynical nature of our dear class, whereas the quiet Liam often sheds a smile.
Then there is Treasure, who provides most of the hilarity with her 'Talk before you think' approach to English Studies, often skewing the already hilarious puns the class has made up.
Despite what many might think, our class does manage to do a lot of work. It's just that we tie it all together with hilarity, cynicism, good grammar, and a sufficient dose of dirtiness.

Now I am off to go read more emo blogs with Elisha. Actually makes me want to write one just to see how much I make myself laugh with how pathetic it is. And there goes Thu who is boasting about her superior scores in her iPod Touch game.
I love Indie. I hope she reads this bit.

Yousif Bayati

I met Yousif last year, when I arrived at Eynesbury. It was 'love after we both realised we couldn't have Steve' sight. We felt each other up, flirted, and ultimately, told everyone dirty stories that we did throughout the holidays. Truth is, we did do horrible things to each other throughout the holidays and everyone should believe this.

Such as the case at Formal, last year. We tried to out-douche each other.
He went in a white-pinstriped suit, not seen in the picture.
And I went in a HOT pink vest.
Who won? No one knows. (Obviously me, he looked like a retard, but I looked like the douche)

And again, our love for each other progressed further than that. We soon began making out in public and doing bad things to each other in front of all the girls which would traumatise them for the rest of their lives.

Such as the case here, where I tried to rape his back. Bad luck Jade got in the way.. Damn that woman.. Major cockblocked me here. I had Yousif SOOO keen. But yes, this was obviously in public.
Now, you would think by now, we would make our relationship official. Well, we did. We facebook-married. We alternated husband and wife. One would be husband on these days,
Me = Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Yousif = Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.
Sunday = alternating.

But yes, our love was growing. Now we included all the guys in some way. We both lusted for Steve. Trent was never far away. We were always talking gay about Nick. Harry was just an easy target. Kent.... No, we won't go there. Too straight for us. Mr. Eynesbury Bandit.

We were doing well, and obviously we were estatic when he got his P's.. Yousif, being Yousif, became an instant hoon. First time I went hooning with him, New Years Eve. That's right, I trusted him with my life, on New Years Eve, where we almost shared a New Years Kiss before we both saw the same ass walk by us.. Well, I certainly did. According to the picture, I was licking his nipple.
And here, I even let him take up most of the picture. I'm a picture whore, and attention seeker. This shit is serious. Damn, don't we look hot?

So, we rolled into the new year on a high, got back to school to see our new crop of kids. I search for my love, who appears to be sitting with a girl. I laugh. Me and Yousif, with girls? Maybe we enjoy to stare at them, of course, but obviously we were only with each other.
I get home later that night, and jump on facebook. Bombshell dropped. Yousif has changed his facebook status back to being single. I was cut. I didn't know what happened. I come up to him tomorrow at school, and hassle him about it.
According to him, he just didn't 'feel' me anymore. My heart was shattered. I locked myself in my room and didn't come out for weeks. And when I finally emerged. I arrived back at school to see Yousif getting cozy with someone. And not just anyone. Not Kent, that would kill me. But a GIRL!!!!


I was so cut. I was dropped, for a girl.
Her name, Allana. Basically, she was the female version of Yousif. Except, Yousif has a bigger vagina and bigger boobs. I was dying inside, but sucked it up to talk to Yousif.
It soon became clear, that I could win Yousif back. Because I was the main part of his heart. Allana was great and all, but obviously I am the one for Yousif.
So now begins my quest to win Yousif back. I third-wheel them in pictures, I make out with Yousif at school, and try to strangle Allana whenever I hug her. This quest will be tolling, and I may end up having to make some hard decisions, such as wearing sluttier clothing, or learning how to cook fast food for Yousif. But I'll win him back. For now, I'll do shit like this.

Allana. ME AND YOUSIF <3

Nostalgia

I got my laptop back today. Although it's extraordinarily small, and very compact, the screen being maybe, 10-inches, it feels natural.

My fingers are assuming natural positions on the small keyboard, and the light weight makes it perfectly comfortable to be balancing on my stomach, while i laze around in bed.

I have been lazing around in bed since, well about 4 hours because of it. Other laptops are too big and bulky, and usually have their power cords on the wrong side, but not my laptop. It's perfect for me.

Despite the slow internet I had been suffering for the entire time, up until now.. (I hope), it has served me well.

So, now I lay here, staring at this majestic machine, with no built-in disc drive, and hardly capable of any practical, educational use, and I see past it's flaws, into it's soul.. Which in this case, I'm going with the screen.. I would put pictures up, but I'm extraordinarily lazy at the moment. So, it's a white EeePC, or what it says on the laptop.. I'm too lazy to remember what it is.. Oh, the joys of holidays..

New Years

Sweltering heat shocks me awake. I sit up, breathing hard, with the fan next to me moving, only blowing air into me at the end of every half-rotation. I get up to fix the fan into a fixed position, breaking it. I sit there for 10 minutes trying to fix it, before deciding it was a lost cause and dumping it into my sister's unoccupied room. She wasn't there. It must be late. I go back to my room to check the time. 6:30 AM. I shat myself.

'What the hell am I doing up at 6:30AM? No wonder I am so tired' I think to myself as I go downstairs to find both my sisters sleeping on the cooler couches. My parents are up. They see me up, and automatically assume I'm going out. I sit there, being grilled over what I'm doing that night, to which I had to confess my late-night plans of hitting the town. Now that my mum knows, she could hold this over my head, using it to make me do harder chores. I hated when this happened. So, I am lying there, on the couch. Still epically tired from my late night, and unusual sleeping patterns. I fall asleep. Next thing I know, I'm in my room again, and it's now 11:30. My mum is really annoyed now that I haven't done any chores....

So, my day didn't start out too fun, and didn't exactly end on a high note, but still, new years, was a success from last year. Last year, I was left supporting my two, rather tall friends, who were falling over drunk, after being cockblocked by one, and breaking a coat-hanger with the other, who also broke a lamp and apparently a vase.

I went down to the bay, like all the other young teenagers. But unlike most teenagers, I was not drunk or high. I was fully sober. Excited by Yousif's mad driving, which probably almost killed us on many occasions, but not drunk in anyway.

So, as I wander around the bay with my group of asians, I say hello to my fellow revelers, showing the great Aussie spirit, jumping around with randoms for the sake of it.

As the time draws closer, my group finds an awkward position not close to anything, while standing there taking a numerous number of pictures. It must've been fair unorganised, because the next thing we know, we are counting down from 5. The fireworks didn't go on for too long, but I still managed to lose Mary, Tammy, Johnny, Anthony, Yousif and Husam...

Generally, my New Years was uneventful. A bit of this and that, but the bay did not live up to its reputation of being 'off the hook' at new years. Despite the large amount of drinking at the bay, which was supposed to be a 'Dry Zone', I was quite disappointed that it didn't get rowdier.

Maybe next year, when I'm a legal adult, I will enjoy a new years to the full extent. Actually, I was rather unlucky to be in Adelaide for new years, as I was supposed to be Melbourne, but my darn't parents didn't let me go..

The group, minus the ones standing behind the camera.

From the left:

Tammy, Husam, Linda, Yousif, Johnny, MEEEE, Mary and Anthony.

Aren't we cool?

My gosh, I sooooo love.. them shorts.. My 'Peter Pan' Shorts, dubbed by Tammy (pictured)

But seriously, who wants to grow up?

Black, White, Black, Black and White, BABY BLUE!

First girl, I met once, the other I met for the first time, and yet I still have the gall to pose. I am a champion.

Hope for next year!

Chores

Now, I am fair sure I have complained about chores before, but here is to complaining more about them.

Now, as it is the holidays, and festive seasons are upon us, my parents seem to neglect the bit about being festive with me, and embrace the bit about being festive with other people. This means, I get stuck with all the chores, and the telling off, and then forced to clean for the numerous parties they hold. This would be all fine and all that, but technically, I should be in Melbourne.. damn parents won't let me go.

So, here I sit, at the end of another party, after my dad forced me to play the good son, instead of the lazy one that I usually play, watching more How I Met Your Mother and facebooking, a task which has become instinctive to me. The house is spotless as usual, and my floors and carpets are looking ever so spectacular, not that anyone appreciates.. No one ever notices how clean the floors or carpets look... damn family stick me with the hardest, least rewarding job.

My caffeine intake has taken a sharp rise over these last few days. I have taken at least two cans of coke each day. Not healthy, I know, but shuttup, I've been exercising. I have to do all my lazing and procrastinating when no one is not awake, and not telling me off for not doing chores. Now that it is the holidays, and there is really nothing on during the day, except the Cricket, which I enjoy watching, but no one else in my family do, so they just automatically assume it's not worth watching and therefore I am just lazing around, which therefore means I have time to do whatever their bidding is. Oh, I hope for new years eve. I have plans ahead, but these next few days shall be a testing time, filled with late-night eating, caffeine overloading, chores and being told off. Also, I'm quite sure I will not be able to hold off my dad's urging for me to start studying for next year that much longer. I have a stack of old exams of my subjects for next year, as well as a maths book, looking rummaged, as if I have been using it. But alas, I do not think that will hold him off too much more. For one, they aren't in my room, and my room is a mess, so he will catch on eventually. Probably tomorrow. Seeing as there is no party, and the house is clean enough for parents to neglect me to my procrastination... Oh, I'm screwed.

Oblivious

I noted in earlier blogs that I was completely oblivious to one's affections when it involves myself, and really, one's affection in any case. Except obviously when someone tells me, which is often done. But back to the point, I am extremely dull when it comes to me, and girls.

Now, just like your average guy, I am very sexually inappropriate with my friends, mostly the guys, not the girls, which is apparently starting to get awkward. Especially me and Steve... No one needs to see what me and Steve get up to in a dark room. I don't know how this is relevant to my story, but I felt the need to point it out.

Back to the main blog, my senses have grown over the last few years. From grade 8, when I was completely oblivious to a girl's affection, even when someone blatantly told me to my face that a girl liked me, I have moved onto, noticing creepy stalker girls/guys, who seem a wee bit too interested in my day. In these 4-5 years, I have moved from completely dull, to very dull. I find this a small achievement. Maybe it was my constant flirting, with guys mainly, girls got the insults, that dulled me to any moves made by any interested parties.

Like, you can be dull, then you can be shockingly stupid, then you can be what I am.

I am currently so self-absorbed, I don't see things happening between other people, solely relying on gossip, to get me around the rumours at school. This is not a recommended system of information, but it works if you have a large influx of gossip, or you go to a small school.

... As I was saying before, the girls I do notice, I find extremely scary, freaky, and down-right stalker-ish. I find a lot of people stalk me. Guys, girls, in-betweens.

Wait, does anyone else notice when someone likes them? Because I'm always told afterwards.

I have a theory... Well, more of a conspiracy. Obviously I am being messed with by all girls I meet, and there is a webpage out there dedicated to shaping my life, or whatever.. like the Truman Show.... hm, I can be downright perceptive when I want to be.... except when it comes to girls.. they are too confusing... and guys.. they are too dimwitted... and in-betweens.. don't know what they are thinking...

Romance

I look into the computer screen, silently laughing at the comments before me. I imagine they were doing the same thing on the opposite side of the spectrum. I laugh at the ridiculous observations made, which are directed towards me, and the sheer 'WTF' is enough to send me into tears of laughter. I of course, was talking to a guy about who I liked.

I don't know if it's just me, or that every guy at some point apparently likes 5 girls at the same time. From last year, at Norwood Morialta, to this year at Eynesbury, one or more of my guy friends will note that I either have liked, or like at least 3+ girls at the same time... Now thinking about it, it may be my carefree, affectionate personality that allows me to bond closer than the awkward friendship between traditional boys and girls while he tries desperately not to stare at her breasts, and she tries desperately to get him to start talking.

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but multiple figures seems a bit excessive for even myself.

Okay, by 'liking', I mean your plain and simple die-hard crush. Not just the simple, small, 'Oh, noticed you are hot and now am slightly interested' crush, the full crush, in which ends, or at least somewhere in the middle with the guy getting the girl. Or the girl getting the guy... or whatever weird and wonderful combination you enjoy. Whatever floats your boat!

So, multiple figures of these is a bit slutty.

1 - Okay, this amount is safe, full, and frankly paramount to the survival of the human race. Yes, even if you are ugly, you are still contributing so I guess we can accept your 'help'.

2 - Okay, fair enough. Enjoying the comfort in knowing that if you were to lose one of these crushes, you have a back-up, is quite alright. Not very ethical, but, hey, boys are boys.

3 - You are again lowering your chances in getting your fairytale ending, with three girls. Yes, you might see it in the movies, but seriously, juggling the fact you have the hots for 3 women is not particularly easy, and you would most likely be caught. Girls do talk, granted how annoying it is, and they do find out a lot about said boy, if needed.

4 - Best thing I can say is that it's an even number. Three is a bit more of a better number though.. Four is a bit of an awkward number. Although, if I were to run four girls, at the same time. I would be legen- wait for it . . . . . . - DARY! Legendary.

5 - Well, that's a large ego. If you never want to act on any of these long-term crushes, then you should be relatively fine.

Simple put, I do not know how my friends came to the conclusion that I was enamored with 5 different girls, and frankly I find it quite amusing they thought I would slut it up enough for that.