Chores

Now, I am fair sure I have complained about chores before, but here is to complaining more about them.

Now, as it is the holidays, and festive seasons are upon us, my parents seem to neglect the bit about being festive with me, and embrace the bit about being festive with other people. This means, I get stuck with all the chores, and the telling off, and then forced to clean for the numerous parties they hold. This would be all fine and all that, but technically, I should be in Melbourne.. damn parents won't let me go.

So, here I sit, at the end of another party, after my dad forced me to play the good son, instead of the lazy one that I usually play, watching more How I Met Your Mother and facebooking, a task which has become instinctive to me. The house is spotless as usual, and my floors and carpets are looking ever so spectacular, not that anyone appreciates.. No one ever notices how clean the floors or carpets look... damn family stick me with the hardest, least rewarding job.

My caffeine intake has taken a sharp rise over these last few days. I have taken at least two cans of coke each day. Not healthy, I know, but shuttup, I've been exercising. I have to do all my lazing and procrastinating when no one is not awake, and not telling me off for not doing chores. Now that it is the holidays, and there is really nothing on during the day, except the Cricket, which I enjoy watching, but no one else in my family do, so they just automatically assume it's not worth watching and therefore I am just lazing around, which therefore means I have time to do whatever their bidding is. Oh, I hope for new years eve. I have plans ahead, but these next few days shall be a testing time, filled with late-night eating, caffeine overloading, chores and being told off. Also, I'm quite sure I will not be able to hold off my dad's urging for me to start studying for next year that much longer. I have a stack of old exams of my subjects for next year, as well as a maths book, looking rummaged, as if I have been using it. But alas, I do not think that will hold him off too much more. For one, they aren't in my room, and my room is a mess, so he will catch on eventually. Probably tomorrow. Seeing as there is no party, and the house is clean enough for parents to neglect me to my procrastination... Oh, I'm screwed.

Oblivious

I noted in earlier blogs that I was completely oblivious to one's affections when it involves myself, and really, one's affection in any case. Except obviously when someone tells me, which is often done. But back to the point, I am extremely dull when it comes to me, and girls.

Now, just like your average guy, I am very sexually inappropriate with my friends, mostly the guys, not the girls, which is apparently starting to get awkward. Especially me and Steve... No one needs to see what me and Steve get up to in a dark room. I don't know how this is relevant to my story, but I felt the need to point it out.

Back to the main blog, my senses have grown over the last few years. From grade 8, when I was completely oblivious to a girl's affection, even when someone blatantly told me to my face that a girl liked me, I have moved onto, noticing creepy stalker girls/guys, who seem a wee bit too interested in my day. In these 4-5 years, I have moved from completely dull, to very dull. I find this a small achievement. Maybe it was my constant flirting, with guys mainly, girls got the insults, that dulled me to any moves made by any interested parties.

Like, you can be dull, then you can be shockingly stupid, then you can be what I am.

I am currently so self-absorbed, I don't see things happening between other people, solely relying on gossip, to get me around the rumours at school. This is not a recommended system of information, but it works if you have a large influx of gossip, or you go to a small school.

... As I was saying before, the girls I do notice, I find extremely scary, freaky, and down-right stalker-ish. I find a lot of people stalk me. Guys, girls, in-betweens.

Wait, does anyone else notice when someone likes them? Because I'm always told afterwards.

I have a theory... Well, more of a conspiracy. Obviously I am being messed with by all girls I meet, and there is a webpage out there dedicated to shaping my life, or whatever.. like the Truman Show.... hm, I can be downright perceptive when I want to be.... except when it comes to girls.. they are too confusing... and guys.. they are too dimwitted... and in-betweens.. don't know what they are thinking...

Romance

I look into the computer screen, silently laughing at the comments before me. I imagine they were doing the same thing on the opposite side of the spectrum. I laugh at the ridiculous observations made, which are directed towards me, and the sheer 'WTF' is enough to send me into tears of laughter. I of course, was talking to a guy about who I liked.

I don't know if it's just me, or that every guy at some point apparently likes 5 girls at the same time. From last year, at Norwood Morialta, to this year at Eynesbury, one or more of my guy friends will note that I either have liked, or like at least 3+ girls at the same time... Now thinking about it, it may be my carefree, affectionate personality that allows me to bond closer than the awkward friendship between traditional boys and girls while he tries desperately not to stare at her breasts, and she tries desperately to get him to start talking.

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but multiple figures seems a bit excessive for even myself.

Okay, by 'liking', I mean your plain and simple die-hard crush. Not just the simple, small, 'Oh, noticed you are hot and now am slightly interested' crush, the full crush, in which ends, or at least somewhere in the middle with the guy getting the girl. Or the girl getting the guy... or whatever weird and wonderful combination you enjoy. Whatever floats your boat!

So, multiple figures of these is a bit slutty.

1 - Okay, this amount is safe, full, and frankly paramount to the survival of the human race. Yes, even if you are ugly, you are still contributing so I guess we can accept your 'help'.

2 - Okay, fair enough. Enjoying the comfort in knowing that if you were to lose one of these crushes, you have a back-up, is quite alright. Not very ethical, but, hey, boys are boys.

3 - You are again lowering your chances in getting your fairytale ending, with three girls. Yes, you might see it in the movies, but seriously, juggling the fact you have the hots for 3 women is not particularly easy, and you would most likely be caught. Girls do talk, granted how annoying it is, and they do find out a lot about said boy, if needed.

4 - Best thing I can say is that it's an even number. Three is a bit more of a better number though.. Four is a bit of an awkward number. Although, if I were to run four girls, at the same time. I would be legen- wait for it . . . . . . - DARY! Legendary.

5 - Well, that's a large ego. If you never want to act on any of these long-term crushes, then you should be relatively fine.

Simple put, I do not know how my friends came to the conclusion that I was enamored with 5 different girls, and frankly I find it quite amusing they thought I would slut it up enough for that.

Boredom

So, you would think that someone of my size and figure would most likely take a more cardiovascular route, on the road to peak fitness. But according to my friends, who just absolutely love to see me pump the iron, I am regulated to doing a large amount of weights work with them. So, I sit there, as they pull 15kg+, and I find it hard holding 7.5kg in my slim arms, hankered by the laziness of 17years of no upperbody exercise. Why do people get so obsessed with looking buff? Slim is nice. And why am I always so late to follow the stereotypes of male activities? .... don't take that the wrong way, kids....

Also, Christmas is coming up, and I am yet to buy my family gifts. Also, my sister's birthday, is on the 23rd. I'm yet to buy her another gift. I hope they can all find it within their hearts to either not need a present, or wait till sales come out, so I can get stuff cheap for them, just like an asian would.

............what else to blog about?.................

oh yeah!
Tiger Woods. I have to say, 15 women? What a frickin' champ.

Deathly Heat

I sit there, squirming and fidgeting, desperately looking for cooler regions to delve into. The sweat is already producing, even though I had a cold, cold shower not only 10minutes previously. I rid myself of all my pillows and blankets, and lie there, basically naked. I cannot get to sleep. It is too hot.

Yes, this was the scene, about 4 hours ago, and has been the scene for... well, 4 hours. Summer has finally come upon us, and right now we are in an awkward phase of erratic weather, with low 20degree weather on some days, that will have us reaching for pants (dreaded things, aren't they?), and then the next day where temperature sky rockets, and you even begin to scorn clothes in general.

So, now I am up, here with my lovely blog, hyped up on caffeine, and body heat too high that I can surely not fall asleep. I worry about my early gym session tomorrow, although with temperatures set to hit 39degrees, I can be sure that I will not fall asleep. I have the ability to not fall asleep anywhere apart from a bed, unless I'm deathly tired. Even still, when in bed it takes me a large amount of time to get to sleep.

Also, since I have given up on sleeping, I took another shower at about 5:15. It is now 5:36, I have barely moved at all, and I'm not in my sauna of a room, instead in the cooler study room, and still I'm sweating. I checked the thermometer before, for the room temp. We were hitting 30's.......

P.S: OH SHIT, WHEN DID THE SUN RISE?

Dammit, I always miss the sunrise... and sunset for that matter.

Gym

I pump my legs. I can feel the strain, as I push myself further. I haven't done this in a while, and my muscles were getting rusty. That is right, I am exercising. On a bike machine thingoe in fact.

Exercise. It is just a new things that most teenagers seem to be obsessed with. Usually, I couldn't care less, as I could eat anything and still shrinking, but the recent winter, which in my case means hibernation from any form of exercise, seems to have halted my surprisingly good metabolism. I have entered the working-out phase. Well, I am just going to start, but I am starting to become self-conscious of my body, which I wish to tone up more, so I can impress my fellow guy friends, and hopefully impress the ladies. (But, to be clear, it is so I can stare at myself in the mirror and marvel in pride once again)

So, what is with this recent trend in working out for males?

Is the testosterone up? Boys not.. finding personal time as much anymore, instead working out so they are 'buff' and can impress the ladies. I never really cared for it before, but I now see the error of my ways, and how I cannot just rely on my boyish good looks, which coincides with my devilishly cheeky cynicism. I have the talking nailed down, and all I need is to learn how to close properly, initiate, and go further in the chase.. as well as improving my physical fitness.

But enough about how I chase women, what is with this recent epidemic of people working out?

One reason would be to impress women. The more obvious reason would be to develop physicality in an effort to intimidate all other guys, and make your territory. Another reason is because they are obsessed with the perfect body. A more common reason would be because they secretly harbour homo-erotic feelings, and love seeing abs of steel, and perfectly oiled chests... I feel so dirty just saying that...

Jobs

I stand across the imaginary ring, staring at the vicious opponent, dead in the eye. He does the same. He runs at me, arms flailing. I sidestep, grabbing him, and picking him up before crunching him into the ground. I remember this triumphant feeling, I am back in my prime.. Granted, I just crunched a 6yo, and I didn't really hurt him, and he is desperately grabbing at my legs to trip me over, while a large number of other little kids tackle me to the ground.

Yes, I know it's the holidays, because I am working at the day centre. Surrounded by kids who look up to me, listening to my every order, and totally disregarding it 2 minutes later, just like every time I work there. The kids, and how annoying they get. You never know how annoying little kids are, until their parents go home. They go nuts when with their fellow brethren. But, I find it is better work than McDonald's or something, because then I would have to deal with snobby little kids who can be douchebags and know that I can't do anything on the spot. At the day care, they are stuck with me for the day, and I remember how annoying it is to sit in a corner for even 3 minutes.

But, one would have to ask, how did I get a job at a daycare? Well, my parents run it and force me to work underpaid, and overworked. So, it evens out that I bludge all the time, and play fight with the kids.

They also get me to work at a post office, which they also run, which is equally as fun. We get the funniest mail, such as the other day when a letter came in, addressed from 'The Brotherhood of Magicians'. Most. Epic. Letter. Ever.

But what about my jobs, this can't just be a blog, boasting about how although I'm overworked, and underpaid, I still have it better than most teenagers working. This blog is about all jobs.

I have slightly ranked best jobs to worst jobs, that the majority of teenagers can actually score.

Up top, would have to be something like a event promoter, or model. Event promoters just have to send things around on facebook and nag people, and they get paid. Hardly any hard work, and they still get paid. Models, probably earn the best, and you just have to be hot and know it.

Next would be something around farming, hairdressers, or something like that. They would get some experience in that, and I hear they do get paid a bit.

After that, would be my job, daycare. I could be higher, if I got paid more, but I don't. People who look after less kids, like 2-3, would have it a lot better, because there's not enough to go mental, there is a lot of bludge work, and basically you get to relive childhood for a while and get paid for it.

Jobs at K-mart, Woolworths, etc. These are next, because guys, would most likely be grunts, and do all the heavy lifting, which is fine because they can bludge a fair bit, and still count large numbers of hours, getting better pay. Girls will be checkout chicks, flashing smiles, working the scans, and although it can get pretty hairy, do get decent pay.

At the bottom of the food chain... are the food-chains, fast-food in particular. Restaurant and Cafes are ranked ahead, because they probably get better pay, and don't leave with acne or have to work ridiculous hours. Fast food-chain kids may get some pay, but the amount of work they have to put up with seems a bit wasted. Also, it does get pretty boring around a McDonald's when no one is there. The late-night kids might get some joy in some drunkards going through drive-thru, but I can't think of anything else.

So, that's my view on teenage jobs, maybe we should aim higher.

Losing Things

Why, and seriously, why do I always lose things? I know where I put them, and I know I didn't lose them, and usually most of the time I am looking for them because my family moved them, which annoys me terribly. Usually, me losing things results in me finding my graphics calculator to call them, because my theory is that, if I use something not normally used to call things, I can find things that don't receive calls. This is yet to work, but I do have an enjoyable time in class with Natalie pretending to talk on our calculators.

.. I get too off topic too quickly,

Back to the topic, but yes, I lose things very easily. My work, my money, my phone, my ipod, my sanity, my manhood, etc. I eventually find them again, but you know, its annoying...

Everyone has lost the keys once in a while (Lucky me, I have a number lock), and everyone has lost a toe or something, so you all know what I'm talking about.

So, what causes people to forget things, or lose things?

In my case, its because I'm looking for other things and forget where I put other things in the process.

Example, this morning I was rushing, and had to look for my earphones. I couldn't find them, and then started looking for my wallet, which I found with my earphones. I thought it was a win. What I forgot though? My retainers. Would've been fine, but I was rushing to an orthodontist appointment on my retainers.

Second example, sister calls up. Asks me for a book, that I haven't returned from school. Thing is, it was a book from the school I went to the year before. That's a year's worth of lost item.

Third example: I was at Tammy's house, giving her Eynesbury kids's present, an iPod Touch. She was reminding me of things that happened at her party on Saturday. That's a few hours worth of lost memory.

As I said, I lose things..

P.S: People rage when they, or others lose things. Such as sports games. Where did all those lost winning points go? (Yes, I think I have the wrong mindset here)

Onset of Party-fever, with a mild case of Irresponsibility

Food gradually decreases, and I've been hitting the dancefloor for a good 10 minutes now. Pictures are being taken left and right of the center, and my poses are just astonishing. The lights eventually flicker to life, and soon the drinks are brought in.

The time, 9:00PM.

The night has descended upon us, and the music is now blasting with dancing music. I am now hitting the dancefloor harder than everyone else, dancing with myself, and anyone who chose to join me. My affectionate nature has taken over, and I have reduced to giving kisses to everyone around me, telling them that I love them, and asking many girls not to take advantage of me, yet I'm going around stealing kisses from everyone. I think its safe to assume, that I am enjoying life at a party.

Parties, oh what a wonderful event! They can be held in total innocence, with pixies and ponies, or dealing with hard liquor and people making history on the dancefloor. Seems like I was at the second option, when I wanted to go to the first.

Parties have their good and their bad sides, ranging from fresh new experiences for young males, and then fresh new experiences for young females.. I hope you can tell the difference there.

They can bring great joy, and under strenuous circumstances, unexplainable injuries, memory loss and great feats of bodily functions.

They can also be quite hard to handle, leaving a large cleanup, and also many hours of preparation.

Parties can bring people closer together, and also leave people shattered. Parties can produce awkward co-incidents, such as a blood nose combined with vomit. One can only think about how one would breathe. In my experience, it doesn't hinder your breathing in anyway, just is really damn confusing.

But what are parties?

A joyous event where a social gathering is set up and people rock up to have an enjoyable time.

So, why am I talking about parties?

Well, recently I have finished school for the year, and parties are beginning to increase in number and size, with the number of drunk teens rapidly rising. Me, being the usually sober one, is indefinitely lucky that I have not recieved my P's yet or I would be a taxi. That, and because I'm too lazy and crap to get my P's.

But back to drunk teens, yes the number is on the rise, and I don't see any decreases soon. The jolt was started from schoolies, and has been on the up and up ever since. Christmas is coming, and I don't think half my friends will remember NewYears.

Such as the case of last year's New Years, I will stand there counting down inside a room full of people, while my friend, who passed out on the couch, is screaming at everyone to shut up. I see a similar case this year, if I don't leave for Melbourne.

So bring on the parties, I will meet the next few, head-on, with the sole intent on at least remembering half my night, and not giving away my innocence to any strangers.

P.S: Let it be noted that blood noses and vomiting is considered a favourable highlight of everyone witnessing, apart from the person doing it. It's really confusing, because you don't know where the blood is coming from, and you are trying to concentrate on vomiting. So, let it be noted, that although usually multi-tasking for men is considered a blessing, multi-tasking body functions is considered a hilarity.

Exams, and they love to screw you over.

I looked to the clock, 5 minutes left. I look back at my booklet. 4 questions left. 'Oh Fuck...................' I think to myself, I'm never going to finish in time. I know it, the supervisor knows, the guy behinds me knows it. Hell, the girl staring me from across the room knows it. I'm stressing. It is text-book exam anxiety. I start sweating up. I stare at my questions, writing random numbers in hope for sympathy marks I know won't come. That's what I get for doing the hardest maths unit, GAT maths, which would be for Specialist Maths, even though I don't plan on doing Specs... I sit in the exam, stuffed.

So, I probably answered enough to get a good 80%, TOPS!! I literally screwed myself over in the exam. Studying in a three day break, and seeking help from my teacher could only take me so far. Bad luck for me, so far was only about 5 questions in. The rest was on what I guessed. I'm hoping I passed, at least.

But enough about just my maths exams, lets talk about the rest of my exams. Psych, English, other maths, Chemistry, and for tomorrow, Economics.

Firstly,
Psych: If I decided to study, even for an hour, I would've easily aced it. But instead of studying for Psych, I studied for GAT all weekend. I did enough to pass, but I won't replicate my better scores of the term.
English: Studied for that. I panicked in the exam. I definitely passed, and almost definitely scored alright, but I won't score what I hoped to score, which includes and A, and a +.. yes, its a MA15+. Yes, I old enough to watch them now.
Chemistry: Like the rest of my Chemistry semester, I finished the booklet easily, but I probably used the wrong formulas for everything again. Hopefully I passed. At least I studied for it.
Foundations Maths: Oh, gosh.. That was a disaster. I looked over to Stephanie, who seemed to be absolutely ripping through her exam, as compared to mine, which was finished, but not thoroughly ripped through. Although I checked later, and she wasn't apparently ripping through her exam. I felt better by this.
Economics: Actually is tomorrow, and isn't graded towards anything. This is good because I am not going to study for it. Too much study for 4/6 exams hurt my brain too much. Also, the fact I had my facebook stolen for two weeks hurt equally as much.

So, exams..... When properly prepared can be a breeze. When not, like I always do, can be a traumatising experience. Although some examinee guns could beg to differ, just know, you guys are special. Sadly, I am not, and therefore epic fail. Oh, by epic fail, I mean epic asian fail.

Exams

I sit there, writing the end of my facebook comment. I stare at it, sweating, not just due to the heat but due to the pressure of the situation. My homework lies somewhere I don't know. I click the send button. It is done.

Exams start the week after next, and as I am finding more and more excuses to procrastinate, the heat is increasing. My latest excuse is that its too hot to do homework. Guaranteed a week worth of procrastination, which is not good. I have just given my facebook account to my dear friend, and I can already feel the pressure mounting. All the forgotten homework, all the lazing around doing nothing, is now counting.
I spent the rest of my saturday, actually doing some work, in which I did some of my CTS, although I couldn't get into the rhythm of working, and soon gave up. So instead of using facebook to procrastinate, I watched TV, played tetris, pokemon and read a book. I truly am, a professional procrastinator.

Heat Wave

I know it may be getting a bit repetitive now, but we are now 5 DAYS into a heat wave, which hits a low of 28.. on MONDAY.

Its Wednesday right now. I think it was pushing 40's today, and the next three days say 39. Monday is the only day it drops BENEATH 30 in the next 7 days, after 4 days already of this weather.

I think the cold showers will continue, and sweating will come as easily as walking. I can barely imagine wearing shorts in this weather, so you pants wearers really should stop.

I'm Melting

Everyone knows that when you turn on the shower, it starts cold, and gradually gets hot as the water is on. In this heat wave, I turned on my shower, for a cool relaxing COLD shower. The shower sprayed hot water at me. This is ridiculous.

The weather is really affecting everyone now. I can hardly go outside without thinking I'm going to melt. 4 days into a heat wave, and I am having long COLD showers. This blasted heat wave started on Saturday, its now Tuesday, and the mercury will hit 41 on Saturday before finally falling to below 30. FOR TWO DAYS!. After that its straight back into the 30's. Screw hot weather over cold, I got what I wished and now I would kick myself, but that might hurt. It is ridiculously hot, and I am finding less reasons to wear pants and shirts each day it goes by. The only reason why I am still wearing shoes is because my thongs broke. Sweating comes as natural as blinking, and even if I were to run 50m to catch a bus, I would pay with sweating my ass off on the bus ride. No longer the days of me legging it whenever I want to, or walking outside barefooted.

No longer do I leave the curtains open, in fear of the intense heat reaching inside. At least with rain, its pretty when I am inside. The only positives from this heat wave is the fact I can easily say no to ALL pants.

So this is me, complaining about how hot it is, and today I wore a t-shirt and shorts, and some shoes. I was walking through town and saw a guy in a suit. I feel sorry for those who feel the need to wear pants. Not only do you WANT to wear pants, but this unforgiving heat will punish your stupidity.

7 days of above 35degree weather, and its not Summer. I think I might need to get a rush on those new thongs.

Kids growing up too fast?

I went to a party yesterday, where there was a large social divide between the boys and girls. Primary school stuff, where boys hardly talked to the girls, and the girls hardly talked. It was quite disturbing, as the birthday girl, was only a grade younger than me. I would assume that there wasn't much of a social divide, but I was mistaken. My grade was much rowdier in my eyes, getting drunk every weekend, and coming to school the next Monday eager to tell tales. I was always the sober one though, looking after the friends because I am a good boy. So I sat at this party, wondering what could spur on the argument that kids are growing too fast. Maybe it was the group at the party, or the social class I am usually with, but there was a large difference. The kids I was with at that moment seemed so young, and innocent. Much different to what I expected at my 17years of age.

So as I went home, I thought about this further, and determined it to be the social class that I must've been with. Admittingly, the girl who was having the party, goes to church with me so she is fair innocent, and I went to a public school for my first 3 years of high school education, so I saw a lot of conflicting features.

But this didn't solve the question on why people believe that kids grow up so fast, so I discussed with a friend to the wee hours of the night on this.

We discussed the increasing disturbance of children, yes not teenagers, but teenagers dressing up, or down, so they think they look good, but to everyone else, they just look like miniature sluts. Now, I am all for letting little kids off to learn from their own mistakes, but I believe there should be some kind of barriers. Clothing them properly, and teaching them manners should be essential.

This would be all fine, and good, but then there is the increasing number of new high-school kids, around the age of 12-13, who think that since they are in high-school now, they have the luxuries of someone reaching the end of their education, around 17-18. Same rules apply. We do not need to see you try and dress if you are in your 20's. Its disturbing enough. All for letting you run off with your free minds, but when you go promoting pedophilia, you can hardly blame them. Well actually, you can, but the children in question, and parents are to blame as well. This again, can be blamed on advertising companies for selling sex, or clothes companies for making monstrous clothing for younger ages, when really, revealing clothing like that should be left to the professionals.

Basically, in my discussion, my friend and I determined that, kids try to grow up way too fast, with kids wanting to go from 13-19, while 19yo's want to go back to being 13yo. The structure is very complicated. This discussion comes after my trip to the beach where I couldn't tell the difference between a 13yo and a 17yo from the back because they were both wearing bikinis.... ewww... ewwwwwwww

Pests

I was wondering to myself why we need mosquitoes. All I could come up with was that they feed spiders. Then I thought what are spiders for, which would be to feed some spider-eater animals. Then I thought, such animals as birds and other insects that eat spiders probably eat spiders too. So, why do we need mosquitoes? They really do annoy everyone, and can carry diseases. Spiders wouldn't be missed either. Arachnophobia would be non-existent and poisonous spiders would be gone.

Basically, I find no need for mosquitoes, and the loss of spiders is a nice consultation.

Heat Wave

I get out of the shower, freezing my ass off (Yes, not hot and steamy) from a cold shower at 2AM. One could assume I was crazy from doing this, but I had planned ahead, realizing that it was going to be hot in bed, and the next night. As I get into the bed, my body starts rapidly heating, and now my cold shower seems a bit stupid, with the only thing it helping in was keeping me awake to murder me in heat, and to make my hair extra smooth. As I am worrying about how my stupid cold shower may be the end of me, I simply drift into sleepyland, to visit my dreams.

The next morning, I wake up. 8:30. Back to bed

I wake up again. 9:30. Back to bed.

This continues till 11:30.

As I wake up at 11:30, I realize I may have actually cooked to a medium rare status, char-grilled to perfection to any passerby-er that happen to want to taste my morsels. This is ironic, as my family just bought a barbecue, and I spent a large portion of the previous day assembling it. I walk outside my room and the wave of cool air rushes at me. This shocks me, as my door was open. Someone must've turned on a heater. In 30degree weather. Bastards.

It is upon me now, the heat wave, with the mercury expected to hit above 30 degree weather for 7 days. I just finished my second day, and I spent the majority of it inside, and I'm already sick of the mosquitoes, and lack of cool air. Forget heat being better than cold, I want my cold back already.

The mosquitoes are frequently raping my legs, as someone continues to leave the back doors open, and mosquitoes seem to enjoy my blood. The double blankets and multiple pillows I have seem to be having a negative effect now, and I am forever wishing we left the air con on all night like we did with the heater. I am waking up, cooked even further. I could be led to believe that it is Summer. I would however, be wrong. We are now in the last month of Spring, and I am feeling the fury of Summer. I should be expecting a girl to not slap me next. Although, that would be a pleasant surprise to this unpleasant surprise. I don't like surprises.

This brings to my attention, the erratic weather patterns happening around Australia. Hailing in Queensland, and I'm cooking in South Australia. I must state again, the weather is a bitch. I think we should seriously consider changing the format for the seasons, as Summer seems to dominate from around November - March and Winter occupies about April - September. October is Spring and Autumn mashed together, meaning October is special.

But yes, this is just another session of me dying with the erratic weather patterns, and OMFG WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FRICKIN' MOSQUITOES IN HERE? WHAT ARE YOU BREEDING ON ? MY LEGS!!

Reality TV

As I sit there, bored on a Sunday night, I switch over to my trusty Channel Ten. They always have something good on. The screen bursts to life, to a person singing. My stomach turns. I know this feeling well. I instantly change the channel. I am breathing heavily, almost being caught in the horror that is called 'Australian Idol'.

Now don't get me wrong here, I think Australian Idol was good. When Guy Sebastian won. It has been downhill from there. Granted Guy Sebastian won in the first season, and after that I thought the show was stupid. This applies to all reality TV shows, spanning from Survivor, to Big Brother. The ONLY exceptions are Masterchef and So You Think You Can Dance.

Now, it is safe to assume I do not enjoy my reality TV shows. They bug me, and I know they bug a lot of people. Granted, they are really awesome when they start out, but as life goes on, the repetitiveness of the show gets dull, and even with new twists and thrills, nothing can save the 'Reality TV' Syndrome. They just generally stink. I don't know why they keep showing them. But I guess for those young pre-teens who are just growing up into adolescent-hood, they enjoy them enough to keep it going, if not hyping it up further. It happened with Twilight, so it can happen to anything.

On the topic of Twilight, I believe that its a good C, if not B-grade book. Just severely overrated. Severely, severely overrated. Mostly by a few groups I have singled out.

Pre-Teens- Those girls, sometimes guys, who just try a bit too hard to be older than they are by being romantic and stuff like that, and reading Twilight because its thicker than all the books they have read up to that point combined. One point for those Tweens; Vampires burn in the sun, they don't sparkle. (Yes, I have read the book, from a neutral, if not positive point of view, so you can't dump shit on me about how you don't think its overrated because frankly, it is)

Teen to young adult couples- Those who try to be more romantic to there significant other, or for guys, to show that they appear to have a sweet side. Yes, it works on the girl, but it doesn't stop you from being a wank-stain.

Old women- I didn't exactly know this one, but a friend assures me that old women read it to rekindle romance in their marriages. It sounds valid so I guess I would put this in.

Back to the point, I was at Masterchef and So You Think You Can Dance being the only good reality TV shows, and that Australian Idol scares me.

Yes Australian Idol, now this year looks far worse than any other year. The producers don't seem to be advertising as much, and they tried to spice up the show by having a country girl who just absolutely had to wear a cowboy hat at every point you saw her.

Frankly, Idol is trying way too hard this year to keep viewers, and it shows quite obviously. The fact that their ratings has been dropping doesn't surprise me. As said before, after the first winner, it lost most of its shine, and about where Damien Leith won, I really stopped following it all together.

Big Brother got a few laughs, but after the Turkey-Slap incident, it should've been taken off all together.

In short, all reality TV shows, start out brightly like any show, and end up in oblivion (hopefully not SYTYD or Masterchef). Prolonging the inevitable axing of the show is really painful for everyone, and other popular shows are prevented from airing. All shows do start out brightly and start dwindling, but as normal shows can develop storylines, and have more twists and turns than seatbelts get in times of urgency. Reality TV shows can't do that. They can't pull of storylines, and twists and turns gets harsh treatment from the government in many cases. Basically, reality TV shows should only go on for a short period of time, and after an appropriate portion of time, are allowed to come back to be viewed, but shoving them in everyone's faces does get annoying. I still wonder how Survivor keeps running. Oh and game shows, I do think half of them fail very badly, but I don't want to get into that now... Tired.

Cold weather can be a bitch

I sit there, outside, under the intense gaze of the heat. I try to hide from it, ducking in and around disposable friends, trees, benches, etc. I simply cannot escape the gaze of the unmerciful heat. I begin to choke, falling to my knees. The heat has me in its claws now. I am trapped by its sheer strength. One could believe I am stuck in an inferno. You would be close. I am stuck in my computer room, with no air conditioner.

Yes, the weather has finally taken a change from that ungodly cold, to a normal heat... for summer. As it is Spring, it is safe to assume that it's too hot, but I like this weather. I enjoy the heat much more than I enjoy the cold. For one, it gives me reason not to wear pants, and you all should know of my great discomfort for pants.

But let us peer upon reasons why the heat is better.

With cold, comes the added risk of rain. Now, I LOVE rain. When i'm indoors, and safely dry. Also, rain has a habit of being really annoying at important moments.

With cold, more clothes are needed, more blankets, as well as the heaters. Now, this would be fine, but my bed would get cramped with two blankets like I have in winter, the idea of wearing pants frightens me, and as my room seems to be the only room in the house without a switch to turn on or off the heaters, and is just a part of the general heating system; this means that whenever someone turns on the heat, I get most of it. I cook like a roast chicken.

With heat, however, there is no need to wear pants, no need to be fearful of rain, no need to use blankets at night, or keep heaters on. I can even take cold showers!

With heat, my natural pajamas, which is just a singlet and shorts, is utilized perfectly. Socializing is done better in warmer conditions, with outdoors being available.

There are endless reasons on why other side is worser, or greater, but I prefer the warmth. But like everything, too much of one thing is not good.

Pokemon Adventures, Part 1: The Meeting of The Masterers.

Charmander faces the Rattata, both far into the battle. Joel sweating, stressing over the battle so far, the other trainer also experiences the same. 'Charmander! EMBER!' Joel screams, with my pokemon following in suit. The Rattata is burnt to cinders, flying back in a fainted heap.
'YES! WINNER!' Joel yells, running towards his pokemon.
After the battle and greetings, Joel and the trainer part ways, as Joel goes to find other trainers and to finally begin his training with the Charmander he got only a few nights beforehand, after reaching the age of 17 and becoming a Pokemon Trainer.
'Where do you want to go now Charmander? We can go find some other trainers to fight, or beat the crap out of some random pokemon.' Joel says, walking backwards while Charmander walks, curiously staring at his trainer.
'Char char, char char' Charmander says, pointing over something behind Joel. 'What are you pointing at?' noticing the cute girl digging in the grass. 'CHAR CHAR, CHAR' Charmander says urgently, pointing again, this time catching his trainer's attention. Joel starts to turn around, but trips over his feet, and falls.
*SMASH*
'OH FUC*' The girl screams, after being bumped into by Joel. A Squirtle jumps out, and begins to use water gun on Joel. 'Stop drowning me, you bastard!' Joel screams. 'Get off me then you idiot' the girl screams, now in a tangled heap. Charmander watches on to the two kids and pokemon squabble, before deciding to take action. Charmander runs in and kicks all three, sending them all flying.
'OW YOU BASTARD!' Joel yells 'oh, hey Charmander'
'Ow, ooh a Charmander' the girl says 'Hi, I'm Elisha, and this is Squirtle' Elisha says 'I also go under the title Splasha', obviously referring to the legendary rookie fighter, who had been plaguing the countryside lately.
'Splasha, as in THE Splasha? Well, I'm Joel, or Joelava' Joel says, referring to the name one of the trainers gave him after his Charmander used an efficient ember attack to burn Joel.
'Joelava? as in, THE Joelava, the rookie with the legendary fiery starter pokemon, Charmander?' Elisha says, with her eyes widening to bigger than an anime character's.
'Yeah, I guess' Joel says, standing up straighter, obviously feeling proud his infamy has reached great lengths. He opens his eyes, to see Elisha curiously staring at Charmander.
'What a strong-looking Charmander' Elisha says, 'I would love to battle him'.
Charmander's eyes light up, 'Char char, char char!'
'Well, lets battle then.

15 gruelling minutes later
Charmander is panting, Joel is staring around the open space. It is soaked with Squirtle's water gun. On the other side, Squirtle is spinning around dizzily, with Elisha sitting on her bogan ass.
Both pokemon rush in for their last attack, there is a crash, and smoke goes poof. The smoke clears, and both pokemon have fainted.
'Oh, you are the first person to have beaten me' both trainers remark, both being surprised by each other's comment afterwards.
'What an epic fight!' the boy says, standing next to the tree, flicking his hair standing next to a Bulbasaur and a Pikachu.
Both trainers are embarrassed by the comment, and give their details, such as before.
'I am Josh, or Josh Hemp, from what people call me. This is my starter Bulbasaur, and this is the other Pokemon, Professor Soak gave me, Pikachu' Josh lazily says, flicking his hair.
Both trainers are gobsmacked. Before them stood the Josh Hemp, who had received two starter pokemon instead of the normal one.
'Wow! Josh Hemp, with his legendary Bulbasaur and Pikachu! We went to Professor Soak in Eynesbury City too!' both trainers remark, staring at his Bulbasaur's and Pikachu's sidefringe.
The trainers trade stories about their journeys throughout the first few days.
'So wait, we all lived in the Eynesbury without knowing each other for 17 years?' Joel remarks, staring at the four pokemon running around, abusing a pack of Rattata's.
'Yeah, I guess' Josh said, flicking his hair.
'Probably because I was always playing by the creek, in my shorts and boganness' Elisha said, playing in the nearby river. 'I love this food you cooked, Joel'. Joel continues to stuff his face with the buns he made the previous morning.
*BOOM* Goes the noise on the other side of the river, in the large forest.
'What was that?' Josh says, jumping up, calling his pokemon over.
'Lets go check it out' Joel says naively, 'We can do anything because we are pokemon trainers'

20 minutes later, the three trainers reach the site.
'Muahahahahahaha' The Blonde Girl screams, as her Mareep shocks the random pokemon around, as a Geodude collects them and throws them in a bag.
'Get them Geodude' The Short haired boy yells, as the furry looking tall guy next to him, plays around with a Meowth and a Magikarp.
'Nicole, over there' the Short haired boy points over to a group of pokemon.
'Lee, check out them trainers over there' The girl says, pointing towards the three trainers.
'Ben, get them!' They both say, as the tall boy looks up, at the three trainers.
'That one has good style' Joel points out, talking about Ben's seemingly great sense of style.
'WTF JOEL? FIGHT WOMAN!' both trainers yell.
All pokemon are sent out, and sent to attack each other.
Somehow, Charmander is against Geodude, as well as Magikarp and a whole number of random pokemon, who are all under the trio's spell. Bulbasaur and Pikachu tackle Mareep and Meowth and Squirtle flies in attacking the trio.

20minutes later.
Charmander has acquired numerous more enemies, with the floor around him littered with fainted pokemon. Squirtle, Bulbasaur and Pikachu sit there cheering him on, as the trio, deduced to be the villianous Team Cocket sit there, decimated by Squirtle's shell.
Charmander flies in, whacking at least 3 Pidgeys, and knocking out a few Caterpies. All three trainers decide to catch on Pidgey.
After the last of the Pokemon is defeated, and Charmander has been exhausted, the trainers look upon to the beaten Team Cocket.
'We will get you guys later' Nicole says, as the Team run off, 'Damn you meddling children'

'Well, that was awesome' Josh said, staring around at the large thick trees and large bodies of water.
'We really need to watch ourselves, there are a fair few more of them people around' Joel says, glaring at the other trainers who neglected to help his courageous Charmander
'Yeah, I guess, we can join up, and travel together. Anyway, I really like eating your food, and Josh's stories are heaps funny, especially about his girlfriend. Haha, silly girl' Elisha says, tripping over different assortments of vines.
'Yeah, but then we need a name' Joel says, as he protects his food from the large mouths of the others, 'The Masterers, because we all want to be Pokemon Masters'.
'I like it' Josh says, staring at the picture of his girlfriend in his wallet, while flicking his hair, and putting on his hat.
'Oh, why not the Dynamic Intelligent Cool Kids, or DICK's for short' Elisha says, staring at the others.
Both the other trainers stare at her. 'Masterers it is' Joel says, as he and Josh begin to walk away awkwardly from Elisha.
'Wait up guys!' Elisha yells, trying to catch up with her new teammates.

PART 1 END!

Drunk Texting

I run up to my room, grab my phone, eager to see who has sent me a message. One message.
I quickly read it, not understanding it. I read over it a few times, disregarding the spelling mistakes, and quickly reply in my sarcastic fashion.
I get a text back within minutes, 'What are you talking about?'.
I explain to them to check their own message to me, in which I get the reply 'Oh shit, drunk texting'.

Yes, it is that type of message, drunk texting. Personally, I love them, because despite the spelling mistakes, the randomness is just brilliant.
I haven't had more random since Cher-Lynne, but she is sober most of the time, so I am genuinely worried for the poor girl. Except for the fact she is always late for everything, maybe if she is drunk she might get to places earlier. No, I doubt it, I just have to start telling her to come 3 hours earlier, and hope she gets there when it is still 'fashionably' late. Stupid girl, and she says I don't make plans. And then she infects me with her virus of being late everywhere. My dad has started making me where a watch because of that, which she took the liberty of abusing it.

But back onto point, drunk texting, and how I am a fan. Mainly because, I really love it when people try to bag on me when intoxicated, and learning all the juicy gossip one may have on others is extremely good, and obviously when one is unebriated, it is much easier to acquire this information.
I find drunk texting, and I usually get one friend who does this, endlessly entertaining. Obviously not as entertaining at Cher-lynne's dribble, but still, when intoxicated, people say the weirdest stuff.

This however, does not give me sufficient reason to get intoxicated myself, and let loose on my phone, with a large amount of credit.

But what is the point of drunk texting?

Drunk texting is just for the laughs, or when someone gets ballsy enough to voice their opinions, which I would be quite frightened of.

What types of drunks are there?

Well, all drunks at some point in their intoxication levels, will have the idea of drunk texting.
But I'm guessing the most prone are:

Funny Drunks
Angry Drunks
Dickhead Drunks

um, I can't think of anymore

What one may come across during a drunk text?

Well mainly, it should be a load of random, but some can contain gossip, bitching, and opinions of people including yourself.
Really, drunk texting is humourous as usual, as pointed out in such sites as

textsfromlastnight.com - which can include sober randomness.
mydrunktexts.com - which going by the name, is obviously filled with sobriety.

and other sites.
So, when you are fighting the war, with comrades in arms, against the forces of sobriety, remember to carry your phone, in case of the emergency drunk text.

Oh dear, I'm aging

I sit there, quietly, waiting as the clock comes closer to midnight. I am on facebook, already recieved two congratulations from people who got in early. My msn goes off, Tammy has just opened up a window, and her message is clear. The clock strikes 12. I quickly go to check my facebook, and the messages are streaming at great rates. I feel loved, and know that the fateful turning of the age has come.

The year has passed since my last increase in age. I have turned 17, and now probably legal for some more things, such as using magic like Harry Potter tells us. Obviously, my 18th I will be legally an adult, but that is a year away, and I am living in the moment, where I can probably watch MA15+ movies without my sister glaring at me thinking I'm too young still.

I look back on my 16th year, on the highs, and the lows, and the middles.
I think to myself, closing the gap from me to adulthood once again, how I have grown (figuratively, you bastards) and how I will continue.
Long have the days where I couldn't pronounce words like 'lucky', having a bowl cut, and being only average at most things. Now I am replaced with constant use of the words 'awesome' and 'cool', having the asian hair, and being awesome at everything!
Long have the days passed where I was a midget compared to my peers. Well, at least now I am somewhat a respectable height, being at that height where it is awkwardly taller than alot of girls, yet not tall enough to be considered boyfriend material.
Long have the days passed where I am abused my peers, who believe that my baby-ish looks are just plain cute. Must I remind you all, its HAWT!

I look back on the year, with the change in schools, increase in friends, altering of personality to suit me, and the disturbing amount of time I spend in town, but I go to school there so its all fine.
I remember my last few moments before the age increase, with the anticipation of flooding congratulations with the fact I managed to stay alive for 17 years, with my smartassery, it was looking abit hazy there for a while, but who is going to hurt a kid half their size? No one, and I take advantage of that.

I look ahead, to the year ahead, where I will be faced with year 12 studies, with many friends around me going to have to start killing themselves in their studies, including myself, my ascension into the 'Adult' status, nearing the end of the year, and therefore I would legally be able to party in clubs and stuff like that, but we all know that I will have to be forced to wait for Tammy's ascension two months later, before I do something cool.

And now I sit here, on my birthday, thinking about my life's events, from that time I remember standing next to a heater when I was 3-4, because that's the earliest memory I have (I think) to my birthday dinner tonight, because I seriously can't see too far ahead of that.

So, can I really use magic now?

Muck Up Day

Today, well for most schools, was Muck-Up Day. Yes, that time in October was already upon us, where the future leaders of the world, in all their glory, enjoy the sheer pleasure of the social custom of creating havoc for their leaving schools. My school however, did not participate in the Muck-Up parade.
I do not know if its because we are smarter than others, more mature, or because our school is so small, that culprits could be caught easily, that prevented the general stupidity, of which is muck-up day.
I myself, am a fan of a more harmless muck-up day, where no one is targetted, or very few are targetted, and nothing that would create trouble for the school.

The night before, kids from my old school were hyping up the day for events in which they hoped to bring great havoc, while secretly we all knew they would pussy out in the end, because:
one: the were year 11's.
two: they were wogs or girls talking it up
three: the worst that had happened for them, in the week coming up to this point, was someone writing 'EMINEM' on the side of the building.

Now, this would just point out that the person who did is a jackass.

But that is not the point. What is the point though, is what is muck-up day for?
The leaving class to display their feelings of the school through devastation?
What if, like me, you love your current school?
How would I counter this then?

Well, first by explaining muck-up day.
The leaving grade, on their last day of school before SWOT VAC, and taking exams, reap havoc upon schooling grounds across the city, as well as general havoc all around.
This is an act of defiance, and to show hate for their schools, and because its the social custom and when it gets really rowdy, it gets really fun. But rowdy means stupid.
Although, if one was to like their schools, their muck-up day wouldn't be centered around creating havoc for their schools, such as my school.
The counter? Harmless muck-up. Where there is no harm, no targetting (or at least limited) and the schooling grounds, and teachers are left completely unharmed.

Now what could go on during a muck-up day.

Kids these days are getting more and more creative as the years go by. The general idea for everything, is to piss off the schools, to get back at them for 13 years of forced education.
Things like vandalism (which is really, really, really stupid), intricate traps, terrorizing the younger students, and schooling grounds are all part of a muck-up day. Some people enjoy the use of sauces, and oil on benches, some enjoy banners, and some enjoy just running around their former schools screaming obsceneties.

What would be too far?
Injuries, damage to cars, getting other grades and teachers involved. Injuries, unless they are really funny ones, should be avoided. Damage to cars, that's just not cool, unless the person is super annoying. Getting other grades involved is the worst thing to do. It makes them feel cool. Please don't do this, because I had year 8's running around screaming their heads off, trying to start on me last year when muck-up day commenced, while the 9th graders stood their trying to look cool, and my grade 10'ers were generally dicks. I don't know about the year 11's, but I can't imagine they didn't do anything. Advice: DO NOT GET OTHER GRADES INVOLVED. We get cocky. This being said, do not get too many schools involved in one prank. Fights would be too far.

What would be too little?
Nothing. Or simple things like graffiti. If you do nothing, then how are you supposed to remember your last day?
Graffiti, should only be used if coupled with something else, and really, you don't need it on the school property, if at all. There really is no reason why one should graffiti, unless they are writing 'Pokemon is awesome' or 'Where are my pants?'


Harmless Muck-up Day?
A grade dress-up would be a smart idea. Remember, do not allow any lower grades to join in, or they are open to the egging option. But one must remember, a costume does not include 'Birthday Suit'.
A watergun fight, again leaving grade only.
The general consensus would to not do any damage, yet gain a memorable experience from the event.
Banners for other schools ? Could be a good idea.

Now, as stated before, things like graffiti, egging of properties, and causing of injuries would be stupid.
Sissy options: Doing nothing

Basically, muck-up day requires a large amount of planning, and instead of stupid choices, one should think of intricate traps and banners, as well as the idea of harmlessness, and not involving other grades, for everyone's benefit, to muck-up day. Now obviously, the idea of targetting certain individuals is never lost, this should be only allocated to students, possibly other grades, and never property.
Also, those grades apart from the leaving grade should note, you are just a tool if you try to join in. Certain acceptions include, if you were ambushed first by a non-leaving grade member. Yeah that's about all.

Gossip School

Guy A likes Girl A.
Girl A likes Guy B.
Girl B likes Guy A
Guy B is often found playfully flirting with Guy C.
Guy C likes Girl B.
Guy B likes Girl C
Girl C likes Girl A
Guy D likes Girl D, who likes Guy D but both won't admit it.
Guy E likes Guy E
Guy F likes Guy G, and Guy G likes Guy E, who likes Guy E
Girl E is gossiping with everyone about it.
Sleaze A likes Girls, A, B, C, D and E, and tries to hang out with Guy A, B, C, D, E, F and G
Guy A tells Girl B who in-turn tells Girl A.
Girl A hooks up with Guy D.
Guy B hooks up with Girl B, but has a hidden affair with Guy C and Girl A
Guy C hooks up with Girl E, but maintains the love for Guy B.
Guy E stares at himself in the mirror.
Guy F hooks up with Girl C.
Guy G likes Slut A because he doesn't know she is Slut A
Slut A gets with Guy G. They become PDA couple
Sleaze A hits on Slut A, and Girls A, B, C, D and E, despite their coupled status.
Girl D dates outside of school, with Outside School Guy
Guys, A, B, C, D, E, F and G all love Outside School Guy, while Sleaze A doesn't because OS Guy is dating Girl D
Guy H is dating Bitch A, and becomes Dickhead A, with couple becoming Couple D
Teacher A makes reference to the complicated system in which the students follow.
Guy M, who gossips with Girls K, L, T , A, W, Q, R, E, Y and U, and friends with Guy A, C, D, O, I, L, K, V, X, Z, N and T.
Guys T, N, X, K, L and M hates Sleaze B, who hits on Girls H, I, T, M, A and N, and tries to be friends with Guys D, I, C, K, H, E, A and D.
Guys T, N, X, K, V and M hate Slut A, and Bitch A, because Slut A, is a slut and Bitch A is a bitch.
Girls *alphabet* hates Sleazes A and B because they are sleazes.
Slut A is dating Guy G, but often is found flirting with Guy K, and hitting on Guy Z, also attempting to sit on the laps of Guys H, S, Q, B, C, D and W.
Guys *alphabet* all love Teacher A, and Outside School Guy.... and food.
Guys *alphabet* and Girls *alphabet* love Guy E, who likes Guy E.
Guy E, also likes Hot Girl A, but Hot Girl A is Megan Fox.
Guy E often flirts with Guy T and S, and is often whipped by Girl T and L.
Guy E starts a lot of fights with Girl J and S.
Sleaze A tries to be friends with Guy E, because Girls *alphabet* like Guy E
Sleaze B is a dickhead and thinks he is better than Guy E, T, S, K, J and H and says that Guy T and Guy K should get together because they are so gay.
Guy K wants to hurt Sleaze A and B.
Guy B's hidden affair with Girl A and Guy C is revealed, and Girl B dumps Guy B for Guy J.
PDA couple gross everyone out.
No one likes Couple A, because they annoy everyone.
Guy E is lost, and Guy M then shares the gossip with Guy E, who is then up-to-date.
Guy E hates Sleaze A and B, Couple A, PDA couple and Slut A, because Guy M told him to.

I'm so lost now.

What opposite sexes look for in each other

Now, before I start this, I will state that I won't be doing same sex attractions, as I have no idea what guys look for in guys and girls look for in girls and I don't want to send myself into a fit.


Talking with a close friend today, we got onto the topic of relationships and whatnot. When she noted for a particular guy's taste in women, which tended to be short, blonde, plastic girls, AKA 'The Myspace Girl', I decided to note all the types of girls that guys, as in teenage boys, tend to go for.

• Hot
• Blond (yes, not brunettes. I know we all say we love brunettes more, but inevitably we always notice the blonds)
• Maybe same race, depending on ethnicity.
• Skinny
• Basically someone to show off
• We say we don't want them to wear makeup, but sometimes, its better to.
• Hardly dresses themselves
  

I then proceeded to attempt at guessing what girls go for in guys.

• Tall (damn you girls)
• Dark
• Handsome / good-looking / hot.
• Smart (rich)
• Someone to show off
• Can dress themselves

This led onto different branches in which we discussed what asians look for, and the other ethnic catergories.
I will attempt to describe some types of girls, that FRIEND would most likely go for.. man is he into the stereotypes.

The Myspace Girl -
Blonde, Brunette, Black hair, dyed or bleach, or sometimes natural.
Hair appears to sprout from one area on their head, with hair plumped up in a puffy fashion. Usually long hair.
As a Myspace girl, has a Myspace account.
Takes pictures from angles which severely flatter them, and is usually seen taking pictures from above their heads, in a tank top and shorts... like, short shorts.
Their album is littered with these pictures, also, with them and large amounts of makeup, or them with other Myspace girl.
They all appear to be 17, even though half look at least 2 years above or below that margin
All appear to have some boobs on them. (Flattering angles)
Chat-speakers...........
Relation to the 'Scene' genre.
Skinny.


The Scene Chick
As stated, relation to Myspace Girl.
Bleached hair, often rather dark, or light.
Similar hairstyles to Myspace girl, can work with shorter hair.
Is the early stages of the 'Emo' genre.
Piercings, usually lip.
Always takes a picture on their 'bad' side.
Avid Myspacers.
Quite a number of albums with pictures of them.


The Hot chick
Hot
Blonde
skinny
busty
always has a boyfriend.


The Bitch
There is always that one guy that goes for the bitch, either because she has one physically redeeming feature, or is the only girl to give them notice. Honestly, even if the bitch is hot, I suggest keep away. They get crazy.

I then got onto the topic of girls preferences

But onto girls taste in guys

The Surfie Kid
Hair that has to be absolutely perfect, all sticking up, usually different shades of brown or blonde. Must have hair separated perfectly, so they can say it kind looks like a 'dragon ball z' - esque type of thing. I think they look like absolute tools when they do this. There is no way they are ever early for school.
Board-shorts
Fluoro-coloured T-shirts
Shops mainly at 'JRs', 'Jetty Surf', Globalize, etc.
Thongs a must.
Tank tops a must.
Attempts to be 'buff', but really fails
Doesn't like pants too much.
One step away from being a 'Hardcunt'

The Hardcunt
Physical features similar to surfie kid, such as hair.
Talk tough.
Swears alot
Hangs in packs


The Wog
I already have a blog about this one..... you should all see this on my facebook somewhere.

The Tool
A smart ass
Usually lame
Overkills jokes.
Will often try to ruin the fun of someone else, if it is at all discriminative, even if its just for fun.
Diabolical
Works well with the Bitch.
Over-confident
Attempts at being deep

For guys, we seem to be attracted to the 'plastic' girls, who should be a fair amount of fake, if not just slutty, because if shorts get any shorter than plastics, then I would call them underwear.
Girls appear to prefer the 'dickhead' male. Such categories that fall under the dickhead catergory,
Dickheads
Bogans
Wogs
Surfies
Hardcunts
TB's / wannabe asian gangsters, although they always say 'I'm a lover, not a fighter' which pisses me off eternally.
The wannabes
The Tool

As for me, I fit under the Douchebag

Douchebag
A Smartass
Cocky
Attempts at class clown
Shallow, yet deep, yet more shallow again.... cryptic bastard
Doesn't worry about pissing people off, or just doesn't notice it.

Why I love school

Despite my school being quite small for a high school, Eynesbury still lives up to the ordinary feel of school. There isn't the social stereotypes like ordinary schools, except the large number of internationals, but like any school, you have the individuals that make up the school.
These include:
The class clowns
The wannabe tanky guys.
The metro kid/s.
The inseperable couple.
The awesome ethnic kid.
The nice, pretty girl
The short, yet dominant girl
The weird kid.
The couple no one wants to see / The overuse of PDA couple.
The emo kid that everyone secretly loves.
The gal pals.
The 'laugh at everything' guys.
The stoner/s.
The ridiculously tall guy
The loud girl.
The very loud girl.
The annoying girls
The barely straight guy.
The guy who thinks they is super popular and hangs out with the grade above them, but secretly no one really likes them..... x2 (kent can probably name them)
The loners.
The social slut / socialite
The 'Aussie' *other ethnic group: asian, wog, black*
The downie
The dropkicks
Technically, we have the nerds, but I think that can be said for everyone at our school.
The bogans
The douchebags
The awesome teachers
The teachers who are dirtier than their students.
The racist teacher.
The awesome principal.
The kid who is always sick
The over-attached girl who is excessively violent.
The kid who gets picked on.
The sleazes
The hot chick/ group.
The nerdy asian kid.
The nerdy white kid.
The stylish girl/s
The hippie.
The kid who isn't cool enough to hang out with anyone their age so they hang out with kids younger than them
The sweet but diabolical kid
The racist, sexist kid.
The wannabe.
The army kid.
And obviously every school has the pretty, skinny, abstract girl who is super awesome and funny, but could probably beat the crap out of any guy, because she trains... heavily.

And the list goes on. As said before, we may not have a strong social stereotype at our school, like a large group of gangsta asians, or wogs, or not even bogans. We may have singles of each social stereotype, but not enough to boast on the likes of proper highschools. I find this system works, as since there is no social stereotype, people can actually get on with their work. This, coupled with the no uniform makes school endlessly enjoyable. I don't have to deal with the social stereotypes, which I have prided myself on learning their habits, and I don't have to wear pants all-year long. Its a win-win for me.

But as said before, although there is no social stereotype for school, it still entails the average feel of school. Also, since my school is quite small, gossip is easily spreadable. The first few weeks of each semester had so much gossip that I could've been gossip girl... or guy... but it sounds better as girl... OMG, what if Gossip Girl is actually a guy ? PLOT TWIST!
But back onto topic, again, like all schools, we find our rhythm, and gossip dies down quickly.

But this is not what I want to talk about,
Every since moving schools, from Norwood to Eynesbury, I haven't felt completely at school with Eynesbury. Its a very entertaining place and all, and I can easily study now, better than ever, BUT it despite having the feel of school, because of its lack of 'rules' I guess, school is enjoyable. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I treated school with disdain for my previous years in the education system. I went to school, studied, and went home. The routine drove me up-the-wall. The uniforms were quite comfortable, but still stuffy. The school grounds were dodgy, and the fact I had to stay there, even during lunchtimes slightly killed me.
But as I moved to Eynesbury, where I work in a free environment, I honestly feel like what they tell me; A pre-uni school. I'm allowed to leave, if I don't have anymore lessons, I can spend my frees however I want, which is usually studying, but being in town has its perks.
I guess, that moving schools, and environments has made school much more enjoyable. That being said, my penchant for procrastinating whenever possible still stands.

Also, who actually reads my blogs ? Please tell me at school... I really only write them so me and Elisha and perhaps another few people outside of school can see my daily exploits, and laugh. I just want to get a rough estimate on who I actually hook onto the procrastination train. Ahh, I enjoy being a douchebag.

What happened to fairies and unicorns?

Sitting in economics class once again, with the teacher rambling on about the world's troubles, once again, I decided to ask him is the world that bad?
Is there no good in people?
Do people only look out for themselves, like they say in movies and not fairytales?

His response: Everyone is greedy, only cares about themselves. His motto, which he coined from I-forget-his-name, 'There is no such thing as a free lunch'. I found this very distressing, as I believed there was good in the world, just like I did when I was little.

Obviously this isn't the case, as there is good in the world, but that doesn't change the fact the world is a greatly selfish bastards. Now, being right-wing politics, I seem fine with letting everyone go about their business in not having to deal with everyone else's problems, but I decided to think of this from a different point of view, and I can see why people would be upset with people not caring about their problems.
Now obviously, this doesn't mean we need to radically change our perceptions of people, in which we believe the best in everyone, and assist in anyway possible. We don't really have to change too much, but a bit more awareness could be kind.

Although, my teacher did go on to say that those who don't care are much more aligned to earning a better income, and this instantly changed my opinion back to its natural course.

Still, I want peace, because in peace comes fairies and unicorns. And who doesn't want a unicorn ?

chatspeak

chat-talk, chatspeak, chat-whatever.. I don't particularly like it, and so do alot of people.

I guess, I am fine with the standard 'lol' and the variations 'lmao' and 'rofl' with added F for 'lmfao', and then I guess I am fine with the 'gtg' and 'cya' to an extent, as well as meh.
But overuse of these, or finding some new, difficult acronyms does get confusing.

Example: I read in the paper that 'lmao' meant 'In my arrogant opinion'. Lost in translation?

Now, by overuse, i mean something like 'LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL'. Everyone can accept 'HAHAHAHA' but the excessive LOL's? I have someone already bitching about it to whoever can hear.
Now, overuse can also lead to people developing new methods of saying the acronyms, or trying to shorten it further, such as 'lawl' which is longer than the original 'lol', or 'ceebs' for 'cbf'. Now, I hate using cbf, and it just annoys me whenever people say it because usually it is accompanied with 'work' 'life' 'you anymore' 'ACTUAL (cbf)'...
I find these greatly irritating, as well as everyone that has to read the same thing, day in, day out by the same people. 'Ceebs' is even more annoying, because I've had people telling me in person, 'ceebs'. Now, not only is 'ceebs' longer than its counterpart, but you can just tell that they actually are lazy assholes that they can't even finish an acronym for being lazy.

Now creating new ones really goes entirely to the 12-13 year olds. That's usually where it starts out being played, and I swear my sister told me gta or something means something weird. MAKING NEW ACRONYMS JUST STUFFS UP WITH EVERYONE!

This is commonly seen through texting, as well as IM .. now, people can accept why someone would need to use them for texting, it just makes it overall quicker, but when its on a keyboard, on IM, chatspeaking the entire sentence, which means leaving out ALL vowels, except for the ones needed in the acronyms really does make babies cry. While talking in person with someone, it should not be acceptable under any circumstance.
I'm a fan for just using the normal ones, as stated before.

Randoms

I sit there, on facebook trying to figure out how I know this person. I soon give up, accept and then post on their wall asking if I knew them.
'LOL, naaaaw, random add, hru ?'

My gosh, I hate chatspeak. But that isn' t the problem, the people who add randoms though, or at least sit there searching for randoms, if not myspace, facebook, the forgotten bebo, or even here on my blog, THEY ARE ANNOYING!

Let us start with a friend of mine. No one likes him, yet he seems to command a great number of friends, well at least according to his facebook, which he frequently reminds me of. I always thought he was just boasting as usual, until the figures started to show. He was close to my number, which is surprising for a guy that no one really likes, but acknowledges his existence. I go to his facebook to post on his wall about it, wondering why, when all of a sudden a pretty girl's picture catches my eye. Now this guy, is not the sharpest tool in the shed, or the prettiest, but he still knows a pretty girl when he sees one, as do I. I sit there and wonder how he managed to befriend her at all, when I see he has replied to her post. Instead of reading her post, I decided to facebook stalk his, seeing as I had nothing better to do than a shitload of quizzes, go find something to do.
'haha, no just a random add, that cool ?' - his reply.
I know his secret now. I feel betrayed that he would boast to me about how much better he was than me, which I could accept if he knew all these people. But it seems he has been, for at least the last few weeks, adding random girls.
I then proceeded to learn that he webcammed with a friend of mine's cousin and proceeded to strip infront of her, which was funny enough, if she didn't record it and send it around. Needless to say, he has returned to his position at the bottom of the social foodchain.

First, lets establish what a random is:
A person you have not met in person before, being a person you have only communicated with over the internet.

A random 'adder' (not the snake):
A person who frequently adds random people over social networking sites.

Now, the randoms I accept, and will converse with irregularly:

• Friends of friends, who want to get to know me/you/person, because of the similar acquaintance.
• If they have so many mutual friends with me, that they could probably feign knowing me.
• Those people you can't remember, but they swear they know you from primary school ? but I guess they aren't randoms then... but still, well I guess we can fit them in.
• And as all guys will accept a hot girl if she adds first.
• I forget I added them.
  

These are just some examples of the ones I accept.

Now onto some of the reasons why people add randoms.

• They have no friends
• They are desperate to meet girls/guys (RANDOM ADDING CAN GO BOTH WAYS)
  
• They are trying to boast numbers in friends
• Desperate

Now, this is all fine and all, as long as randoms don't talk to me, and after a good week or so, I quietly delete them, if I remember. But when randoms talk to me, as in PROPER randoms, the ones you have no idea who they are, and vice versa, it gets annoying.
Firstly, I am for meeting people in person before stabilizing a good internet relationship with them. This allows them to get a first impression of me, and develop their opinion from there. And don't lie, everyone judges initially.
Through the internet however, if the person is a proper random, and doesn't even have any knowledge of me/you/person, then they can be extraordinarily judgmental, as well as basically looking like an idiot.

Example: Friend got spammed by a random, who thought she was hot, when in reality, her pictures flatter her true beauty... and by this I mean she wasn't very nice.

All these things contribute to adding randoms, but why is it annoying ?

Well, simply, some people enjoy it, most don't. I am writing from the 'most' point of view. People can be deceptive through the internet, and since first impressions are usually important for friendships, through the use of the computer screen and not face-to-face, personalities and such can be altered. Also, who wants a random / creep roaming around on their profiles ?

Baptism

After a tireless night of writing blogs, I am restless and continue to dance around in my sleep. All of a sudden, I emerge from my sleepy status. I look around me, to an new, but familiar-looking room. I proceed to exit this new bedroom, into what appears to be an apartment. I check the letters on the table, all addressed to me. I search through the numbers in the home-phone contact list, and come across my house's existing phone number, as well as this new apartments. I appeared to have moved out from under the controlling reign of my parents. I look outside the window to see my apartment situated inside the CBD, overlooking other buildings. From here, I can tell how close I am to school.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* goes the door. I make haste towards the door way, which seems so oddly far away for an apartment, till I realised it was sort of a loft. I open the door, and there before me stands the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, yet her face is surrounded in light so I can't see, but the sheer glee I get from seeing it probably means she is HAWT stuff.
'Stupidface!' - she says to me, quickly pushing me aside and rushing inside. 'Here's your breakfast, I made enough for both of us'.
I stand at the door, astounded, still trying to come to terms with this sudden change in area codes, as well as hawt girls entering my own premises in the early morning, with me shirtless, which is never the case, as I would usually be bottomless.
I watch her set across the apartment like she has been there frequently. I listen to her ramblings, and with my quick deductive senses manage to intercept knowledge of her living down a couple of rooms. She walks out onto the veranda I didn't know I had, and quickly calls 'Charizard'.
A great majestic beast flies from the sky to land on my veranda. I was completely astounded he fit on it. It looked quite weak. So I look from apartment, to hot girl on the veranda with my Charizard, accepting that this is the true reality as it is, and the life with my parents, yet fun and harsh, could not be as true as what I was living now. HAWT girl comes over and gives me a seductive kiss on the lips, telling me to go eat my breakfast.
All of a sudden, the hot girl turns to the TV and switches to Hannah Montana. 'Oh I love this episode, its the one where they talk about twilight. OH GOSH, I SO HAVE TO GO TELL MY GALFRIENDS THIS, EDWARD CULLEN IS SOO HAWT!' - She says, squealing in glee. I freeze. There is no way I would date someone that squeals about Hannah Montana and creams over Edward Cullen. I look at Charizard, as I start to see the space around distort. HAWT girl and Charizard appear to be moving away from me. I reach out, and try to hold on, but Charizard is already to far away. I am too depressed to even think about looking at the hot girl.

BEEP BEEP. I wake up, for real this time. It reads 9:30. I distinctly remember waking up two hours prior to my nightmare. 'WAKE UP, STUPID FACE!! ITS YOUR BAPTISM TODAY!' - Mum yells. I imagine the charizard flying around me, and the girl NOT obsessed with tween habits.
I reluctantly get out of bed, and go to the shower.
It seems again, like the rest of the family decided to take a shower when I took one, and like always, the water system favours the other bathrooms over mine, as I got dumped with the super cold water, on the super hot dial. This did not bother me however, as today I was getting baptised. Not even the fact I felt like death, or at least death x 2, could stop my eternal joy.
After my cold shower, I notice that through my sickness, I have forgotten to shave, as I gather my shaving tools and proceed to what would usually be shaving flawlessly, as I have quite smooth skin. I cut myself. Twice. On both pimples. I have two pimples. This is going to be a bad day.
After rushing out to go stick my L's on the car, and drive my mum to church, she kindly informs me that she has gotten me a present, in celebration for my baptism, and will give it to me later.
This provides me the joy in which I had before the horror shower.
This however, was hampered by my whatever sickness cloud I have been under throughout the whole week. But denied, it was not. Until I arrived at church.
I get to church, in my white buttoned shirt and black pants, instantly incurring the wrath of Stanley's judgment, who proceeded to pay me out greatly.

I sat there coughing, being picked on by the guys. Damn, why do I have to be the runt ?
After Stanley left, I went and sat next to Lan-Anh and proceeded to cough in her direction to annoy her until the service started, and after dozing off for a good what seems to be 40min, it was my time to shine!
I, and all the other baptism students, proceeded to leave the hall, to go to the the room over, to prepare to have our heads shoved under water.
As always, me and the guys enjoy a good laugh before everything, and this was no exception. We joke around, and soon are reprimanded by the pastor, who then quickly ushers us into position, and sets off onstage, to stand next to the bath-thingoe thing.
As we are standing onstage, cameras flicks and flashes all-around us, with the pastor standing in the water speaking in his deep voice; I, as well as the rest of the 9 people, stand there nervously until my turn. I watch 5 people go ahead of me, getting into the water, speaking softly and then proceeded to get dunked into the water.
All of a sudden, its my turn; and I feel the pressure mount. I am asked the same questions, and then dunked under the water, which seemed to go for an eternity. I am fair sure my pastor held my head under water longer because I have been a no show at church for the past few weeks, but that is besides the point. I rush off the stage, to change into a new set of clothes, and quickly proceeding back to the hall, where I am again called up onto the stage, and then told that we are to make a speech. I, having not been at church for the last few weeks, did not prepare for this. Luckily for me, I got on stage near the front of the group, and the pastor started the speeches from the opposite end. This did not help me at all, as I proceeded to do what I always do in these situations, make a joke, and pay out my mum. There was my speech.
I still did better than most, and received my gift for the baptism, which was dodge-ily wrapped, so that the present was protruding out from it. Eager to know what my present was, I took a look. It appeared to be wrapping paper. My friends laughed at me, until one told me it was a poster. This made me feel no better, although I did get a cool necklace with it.

This was one highlight of my sunday, and a boring one at that.

I have a dilemma

As stated in previous blogs, I have seemingly surrounded myself with self-centered, dominating women. This stems from childhood, as my older and younger sister and mum have controlled me.
This then prevents weaker personalities from approaching me, notably women. I'm so lucky Steve didn't falter under the intense pressure of these strong women, or my maths flirts would have to wait for someone else.
But there is the problem, whereas I enjoy the intimate company of the more, nice, kind women, I appear to have a target on my back for those who look to control men. Women who enjoy having multiple boys slave themselves. And thanks to my inferior height, I have surrounded myself with boys much larger than I, which is coupled with a large number of girls who are acquainted themselves with me. No wonder only guys hit on me. In this month alone, I've been hit on, and subsequently hit on at least enough for a boy a day. I wish to at least bring girls on the same level as this alarming statistic.
My extreme openness when it comes to the opposite sex, enabling me to connect greater than the awkward man-child teen, would also frighten those who link me to feelings of romantic nature. Most girls deal with me in similar fashion, violently. Others appear to be obsessed with how awesomely awesome I am. Others obsess over my physical beauty, mistaking my HAWTness for cuteness.
Others just enjoy my humour, and then there are the few that enjoy me for my 'personality', in all its evil. Most probably I am thought of romantically by all girls, and many guys, yet you choose to ignore your feelings. Just know, I am too cool for school!!

Why parents love me.

I stand there, in the living room, as a large number of adult fobs come in to greet my parents. They take one look at me, and fall into ecstatic glee. They swarm me, asking me questions. They tell me about how big I'm getting, and they aren't kidding. But compared to their 4ft statures, even my 5"3 frame is giant. My parents watch in silent pride as the adults fall in love with me. I'm a natural, lovable child. I can see in their eyes they are already planning to have me meet their daughters, however young or old they are. Its unavoidable. Parents love me.

This has been the story throughout my childhood. Everyone has seemed to have met me when I was a baby, everyone seems to adore my childish laugh, looks, and demeanour. All adults enjoy the fact I can string some words in Vietnamese together, albeitly badly. Adults enjoy how I seem shy around them, not talking much, how I have two sisters who probably taught me manners. Good social parents, as everyone thinks my dad is awesome because he is a teacher, and since my sisters are smart, then I have to be.
Parents see my good hot looks, often mistaking it for cuteness, but that doesn't matter. They attempt to convince their daughters that I am a good kid to go with, but that's where the problem starts.
Daughters, in the prime of the teen years wouldn't mind taking the good kid out, but much rather the bad boy. Good class clown is great, and everyone loves him, but that's it. Everyone loves him. You cross him, you cross everyone. Also, because teens love to rebel, and going for the parents favourite is not cool. Girls say they love the good boy, but everyone knows they fancy a streak on the bad side. And for those girls that love a good boy, the cheekiness I possess seems enough to condemn me. I am left stranded, only adored by everyone, and not loved by someone. Adored by parents and friends, but am left stranded with my pictures of Hermione.
This is the curse I hold, for being this good at what I do.

Scroll back to why parents love me.
I'm a loveable child, obviously intellectual, judging by my school, and aspirations. My parents are respectable members of the community, as well as teachers. I show respect when greeting elders, something unheard of in this generation.
In this blog alone, I appear to have a commanding presence over english. Height is not an issue here, as I am still taller than them. Not too mention, their young daughters have been desperately searching for a boy, and they have found a respectable young gentleman who can easily keep care of them.
To the daughters, they find the cynical, egotistic, self-centered, narcissistic retard with an obsession with pokemon, and appears to attract quite vicious women, seemingly the young King of Procrastination. And they love him. His refreshing sarcasm and subtle demeanour which is used to insult them on various occasions. His lightning quick mouth which is used quite often, as well as his impressionable heart, which is easily broken. He can stay quiet, and enjoys great music, and quite opinionated with a few topics. All these culminate in one thing. The brother card. The friend card. So close, we are family. This is the case, in everything. For those who look at him romantically, are often frightened off by his friendly, yet cold misdemeanour, and his quite scary friends. This has been the story of Minh Chau Tran, from childhood.
The parents see a future, and the daughters see the present, Minh Chau sees no one.

I hate Miley Cyrus.

Spurned by my last blog, I decided that I would have to write a blog about my hate for Miley Cyrus.

It started with my sister wasting my bandwith watching this man-in-disguise's TV show on youtube. Now I don't know about you guys, but I'm fair sure she is manlier than me.
Now I find her disgusting, and appalling, but I do alot of people. The fact she is paraded infront of us is just mean. But that is not where my hate lies. The fact she thinks she is a good girl, while skanking around does though.
If that doesn't annoy me eternally enough, her singing is horrible, but yet she is a world wide talent. I find this endlessly frustrating.
Generally, I find her a person who gets money thrown at her for being talentless ugly moron, which is fine, but then she has to be emo-like on top of that, and with my great hate of emos, that is the final, final straw.

um, yeah.. why I hate Miley Cyrus

Music, or what should be declared as music.

For centuries, music has been used as a form of entertainment in which individuals may use to express emotions. This has transcended throughout the generations, into seperate genres in which music has formed today. As what once was music, is now named under classical music. But today's modern society, in which we embrace the modern music of RnB, Rock(n' Roll for you guys that needed me to say it), Soul, etc. Even metal can get a mention. All these are factored under music. This is normal. Common Sense. But there is an anomaly, a virus. Something that shouldn't be. And it is not one, but two seperate problems. One, is called Rap. The other, Screamo.... Trance too.

Firstly onto Rap. Now, hardly any rap is acceptable, with the minor occasional rap, mixed with different genres pleasing. But it stops there. Rap is a virus to what I call music. I don't see how it works in anyway as music. The sheer language used makes me cringe in horror, as well as the music accompanied by it, which is generally horror.
Now, some may say I'm being harsh, but as all you aspiring rappers out there should know, rappers aren't too fussed on the literacy. I've been forced to listen to rap before, and If I wanted to someone create verbal diarrhea, then I would watch Hannah Montana. Ew, Miley Cyrus, another virus to the music community, but we would get onto that later.
Now, Rap includes plentiful of derogative language. Some of the reasons why sexism is still alive is that the government allows people to create rap. Even me, a sexist pig am astounded by how sexist they are. What brave men they are!
But seriously, at what once was subtle - large hinting of the 'S' word, rap either uses it greatly, or switches it with many swear words, in which they are generally used so people can talk about how 'big' they are. Rap involves a great amount of crime, as 'rappers' who have a decent criminal record are good! Also, rap in general, if anyone bothers to listen to the lyrics, has a great amount of violence, and talks alot about how they enjoy sex (with women, I guess, as its usually men).
Now, I don't know about you guys, but I think they need to overcompensate, by planning the dickhead bad guy. I find this bad guy act, taking it far too far.
And notice how the majority of people who make rap, or at least what they call good, are black people, and then followed up by the shitty white guys, and the majority of people who listen to rap are 12+ white and black kids, all being groomed into sex-deprived boys at young tender ages talking about how they want to go and 'eff' people up. I find this extremely stupid. Also, white mumma's boy who rebels through rap? YOU ARE A FAG!
Wogs who listen to rap, and think they are fully sick? YOU ARE A MASSIVE FAG
Black people who listen to rap? YOU GUYS ARE ETERNALLY AWESOME! UNLESS YOU ARE A COCONUT!!
Basically, I find rap stupid

So, if you've been keeping up, so far I've made links from rap to sex, crime and the need to compensate through these things.

Now onto Screamo.
First off, I enjoy screaming as much as the next person, at the right circumstance. In a moshpit, with another thousand crying teens at the next Spice Girls concert, of course. But, to scream, and bang instruments, and then call it music, is horrendous. Its like when I saw Kane and Justine for the first time as a couple. Disgusting. Its just a stupid idea, and shouldn't be seen outside the comfort of nothing. At least rap you can at least understand half the lyrics to criticize. From screamo, as well as a number of different genres, which are relatively alright, spurn goths, and emos. Now I'm not saying being a goth or emo is bad, but being a financially priveleged white kid who thinks the world hates them and has a tantrum because their parents didn't buy them a BMW like the rest of their group, and then rebelling by dressing in black, calling it fashion and then mutilating their faces and calling that hawt stuff, gets a simple remark from me. You enjoy the intimate company of little boys in the dark.
But seriously, has anyone noticed the majority of 'cut myself' emos, are white kids who are rebelling, because the world is against them, everyone hates them, including themselves, when in reality most of the world don't know them, the rest of the world that do scorn them because of what they do as a emo, and as for hating themselves, get over yourselves. If you are more egotistic than me, then there is something wrong with you. If you are more self-centered than Kane, then you are already gone. I admit, Scene chicks are fair hot sometimes, but as soon as the piercings come out to play, I will have something to say.
Um, I'm going off topic again.

Okay, other notable conflictions in what I call music, and music. I don't like metal, in general, but I accept most of it. I enjoy country, but wouldn't seek it. Jazz, Blues, Classical, I can accept. Trance is just stupid. Techno, meh.
Onto artists. Right now, I can say I despise Miley Cyrus. If I wanted someone to spam my radio with crappy songs, I would listen to Rap and Screamo, but as those are shit, I choose to change stations. She seriously sounds more like a man than I do.

Generally, I enjoy music, greatly. Or what I declare music.

Dancing by yourself is awesome

I spun, twisted and turned my arms around in successive motions. I appeared to commit heavily to many actions, often appearing to almost trip on many occasions. At one point, I begin moving statically, and singing quite loudly. It was obvious, it was interesting, it was perfect. I was dancing



As I am quite a jumpy person at the best of times, I happen to spontaneously start dancing. This begins with me singing to myself, often whatever awesome song I currently have stuck in my head, like now its Closer to Insomnia - Ne-yo VS Craig David. This song allows me great dancing moves, and I do pull out the crazy stunts.

As I was saying, as I often crack out my own style of dancing, which I have aptly named, 'tarding, which is short for REtarding, is a series of many arm movements, as well as clumsy footwork. The end-product is quite amazing. But, only because I use this particular style of dancing.

um, where was I up to? . . . .me being awesome at dancing, ra ra ra ra, oh yes, this blog is about dancing by yourself. I myself am fine with it. I find it awesome, and especially when dancing by yourself at a party, which may even initiate the whole dancing part of the evening. As the initiator of the dancer, you are the first on the dancefloor, and the last off. You are also the most rowdy of the pack. This is the responsibility that comes with being the first to begin dancing.

So in a sense, being a lone dancer, or dancing by yourself is simply a person who is initiating the dancing in their own particular group. As dancing is related to fun, this person would be related towards the initiation of fun, and therefore awesome. Even if others don't dance, everyone still will remember your antics. This is not to be underestimated. To leave a lasting good impression is vital to be awesome at all times.

If put into an equation, it would look like this



Lone Person + Dancing --> Encouragement for friends --> HAPPINESS



This my friends, is a reason why I am awesome. I am a great initiator in dancing, as I appear to have no shame.

Now, dancing by yourself is an awesome thing, but this can not be abused. Dancing too much by yourself is awkward. Dancing can only be used in social gatherings, or between close friends, with the addition of music. Dancing in public, with an acquaintance of some kind is border-line fine. But dancing alone, with no friends, in public is going too far. This should not be done, if any awesomeness is to be retained. In this instance, you will leave a 'weird' impression, and that sometimes relates to awesome, such as what I can achieve, but very rarily is able to pull off greatly.
Now dancing alone for long periods of time in general, is not recommended. This again, merits the weird card. It should be noted that dancing alone is only when trying to initiate, show off, or embarrass someone. It can also be used in the confines of your own house, but any other lone dancing of any kind is prohibited.


(I here decided that I would include other dancing situations)
This is not the only thing though, there is also dancing in groups and with partners.



Dancing in groups shall be noted, there will always be the overachiever of the group, who would usually be the initiator. As such, they are the ones who commit the most to dancing, and let go of the most shame. They combine with other members of the group, to perform particular dance moves that require multiple members. This type of dancing is the most popular, as it removes any fear of being caught out, and is quite likely to be noticed by potential scopers. For guys, dancing in large groups of other men, is more intimidating for girls to approach. Likewise for guys, with large packs of girls. Therefore, the groups must be fairly spaced, and with a good ratio of guys to girls, or dancing in space is recommended.

When it comes to dancing in pairs, it is essential to be dancing in a more sensual method, if with the opposite sex, or with girl-girl. This is rather provacative for men!! Teehee, when guy-guy dance together, they have to dance big. Large, cool styles of dancing to impress the opposite sex. This rewards with awesome points.
Now when guy - girl are dancing, it is important, that if this would lead to anything further, because I really see no reason why a guy would be dancing with a relative, unless at a wedding, to get as close as possible.


How did this turn from an innocent 'dancing by yourself is awesome' to me teaching you guys how to dance in different manners, with provacative meanings behind it?